


It's Not Dying, Not Really, It's Just Falling Asleep

by thesilverwitch (orphan_account)



Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombies, M/M, Suicide, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-05
Updated: 2012-01-05
Packaged: 2017-10-28 23:58:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/313584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/thesilverwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know what they say: there's never a happy ending in a zombie story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not Dying, Not Really, It's Just Falling Asleep

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Steve/Tony Secret Santa.

The world’s a broken mess, that’s the only way it can be truly described. Everyone’s gone except them, everything is dead except them; the sun doesn’t shine anymore through the thick heavy clouds that darken the sky every single day. Cities lie in ruins while the undead scramble by, trying to find fresh meat to fill an incessable hunger.

It all started with a strain of virus, which was intended to prevent AIDS, but instead killed you. They always said that when the world ended, it would be by man’s hands - and it would be a completely avoidable incident if humanity wasn’t so greedy. It was a virus that terminated your life, and then brought you back as a monster; there had even been a movie created before the whole thing happened with the same story - how fucking  _ironic_. The worst part about it was that almost everyone that could get the injection did it; the virus seemed to work and AIDS went down dramatically, so why not trust it? Only after one year, three hundred and sixty five days precisely, did the effects start showing.

It was like a contagious cancer; one day you were fine, the next, your brain had been rotten. Not everybody had the shot, luckily, but that didn’t even matter. The virus could also spread through blood on blood contact, or as it was more accurately called, zombie bites. Not that zombie was the appropriate term for the creatures that now filled the earth; in the beginning, when authorities still existed; there was a television announcement about it. They had called them ‘humans on a death-like suspended animation’. According to Tony this term was the correct one, but also according to him it was just a bunch of bullshit to try and keep the population from panicking. It didn’t do much use.

At first everyone panicked, and there was no surprise there. Then the human race fought, because they’re all stubborn bastards who would never go down without a fight; and of course, they lost. No one ever stood a chance really; you can’t fight someone when your allies join them as soon as they come in contact with the enemy.

The Avengers were part of the fighting group. No one got the injection because no one needed it, and according to Hank the scientific study behind the damn thing was a  _ bit  _ unreliable. He said that there were chances of side effects and no one could deny that he’d gotten that part right.  He made a list of possible side effects that could come with the shot, and one of those side effects was the possibility of your body rejecting the virus completely and resulting in some kind of backfire. The idea was that it could cause extreme nausea and internal bleeding; but Hank didn't really get the scale of the backfire quite right - because if he had, everything could possibly have been avoided

But you couldn’t blame Hank because in the end, you really couldn’t blame anything but humanity’s greed. Hank had warned them, everyone that had a brain had warned the people not to take the shots, because nobody knew what they could really do,  _ hell _ , even Tony had warned the people not to take them. But they were cheap, easy to take and easy to produce, and they could potentially solve so many problems. No one was even sure if they would cause any true harm, so why not risk it? Why not just enjoy a good thing? Why not take a chance to stay healthy?

 _ Because you’ll die and turn into a flesh-eating zombie that’s why, you motherfucker. _

God, how Tony wished he’d said this when there was still a chance.

But there hadn’t been one, because he hadn’t known - because nobody had known. So when the zombies started to appear, people tried to fight them away one by one, and they soon found out that that didn’t work - at all - so then they tried running. The only problem was that everyone was running and there was no place to go; before anyone even knew it, zombies were literally everywhere. Every city, every town and every village. In the movies they talk about some safe, mystical city where there are no zombies and everyone fights their way into there so they can live happily.

In reality, there was no such thing. There were only motorways and fast cars that brainless creatures couldn’t follow; there was only the possibility of constantly running for the rest of your life.

The worst thing about being constantly on the run is that there’s no time to mourn. There was no time to mourn Natasha’s life as she put herself in front of an ocean of zombies with a flame-thrower, just so the rest of them could have a few more precious seconds on the run for safety. There was no time to mourn Thor’s honorable fall as he, quite literally, fell off a cliff without his hammer, with at least twenty undead parasites clinging desperately to him. Days after his disappearance, everyone still held some belief that Thor would somehow come back, that he was immune to the zombie bites after all, and he was well, a  _ God _ . If a God couldn’t survive, how could mere humans manage to hold on?

They never saw him again.

After that, things just went completely downhill, and thing were already pretty low at that point. Jan got bitten and Hank had to pull the trigger to her head so she didn’t have to become one of them. He killed himself shortly afterwards.

Clint and Bruce fell in love in the midst of everything. Tony didn’t know how they found the time to be together, or how they were even brave enough to do it, but he was glad they did because at least they had each other. But they also made a pact; if one of them went down, the other would go with him.

They died in a massive explosion, Clint with a massive wound on his head that wouldn’t allow him to go any further, and Bruce with a gun in his hand, pointed to the nitroglycerine tank standing before them. Steve hadn’t wanted to let go of his friends, and neither did Tony; because after their deaths, him and Steve would be completely alone, but Bruce’s last words were ‘don’t die with us, don’t die today’ and there was nothing else they could do.

It was only after Bruce and Clint’s deaths that it really hit Tony just how alone they were. He had built a radio, just when things started going crazy and the Avengers had to run away, and it could reach all of the radio frequencies. Meaning if anyone was out there, and didn’t matter where as long as they had some kind of radio, Tony would know.

And for the first few weeks, there was signal; there was communication between the Avengers and random groups of people all over the world that were running, just like them. There was hope for all of them.

After Bruce and Clint’s death there was nothing at all.

Steve and he were alone. Literally.

They got together shortly after that, because Tony had always liked Steve, he was just never brave enough to confess it. Steve was his best friend, and he didn’t want to ruin things between them; and somehow right until that moment this completely made sense in Tony’s head. He shouldn’t tell Steve he loved him, that he wanted Steve to fuck him like there was no tomorrow; because they were friends, and Steve would never like him that way.

But there was nothing left but pain inside Tony, everything felt like it had been cut open and left to burn in the sun’s violent heat. All he wanted was for Steve to tell him that it was going to be okay, for Steve to show it to him, because they were living in the constant possibility of there being no tomorrow, and Tony couldn’t die without at least, for once in his fucking life, being honest with his own feelings.

He didn’t get that chance though. As soon as they settled in for the night in the middle of a deserted highway, in the back of their ragged old car, Steve kissed him furiously and he told Tony the same things Tony wanted to tell him so badly.

They didn’t label what they had, because how could you label a relationship, how could you label anything at all when there was nothing left to compare it to? They just lived, from that day forward; they just lived. During the day they would run, kill zombies, and not think about what the future might hold; because deep down, they both knew it held nothing, and during the night they would kiss and touch and tease and tell each other they loved one another until they could barely even move anymore.

It wasn’t living, not really, but it was the only thing they had; and for a short while life wasn’t so miserable.

The car’s fuel dial was pointing at zero, but it had been set on zero for the past couple of miles, and Tony knew they had no chance but to stop in the nearest town and hope there was some fuel left in it. They were also running low on food; Steve with his super-human metabolism needed double the amount of food anyone else would need, but Tony didn’t eat much nowadays, so together they made a very broken equal.

They still needed food though, and water, if they could find any.

“We should stop at the nearest city. We’re running low.”

“Yeah, you got the map?” Steve asked as Tony searched the glove compartment. He scanned the paper for a couple of seconds, tracing it with his finger. The nearest stop was Ackerly city in Texas. Since they left the Avengers Mansion in New York, they had travelled 1861 miles; which would sound a bit more impressive if they hadn’t been travelling for _months_ now.

“There’s a city coming up, about twenty minutes away.” Steve doesn’t answer him, but he doesn’t need to. The silence now acts as a warm reminder that they’re still alive, because that’s the thing about zombies, they don’t know how to be quiet. So when you’re the last two people left in the world, and you hear noise coming from anywhere or anyone but your partner, then you know it’s time to pull the guns out and run as fast as you can.

Ackerly is a small place, just like the map indicated; there’s a gas station, and luckily there’s still some fuel in it. They don’t leave each other’s sides as they enter the store in the search of something edible. There are many new rules in the zombie infested world – the doubletap, cardio work, always wear seatbelts - but the most important of them all is that if you have someone that you care for, if you made the stupid and reckless mistake of falling in love in a doomed world, then the _least_ you can do is never leave your loved one. No matter what, never leave them where you can’t help them.

They’re in the middle of taking all the water bottles they can carry from the shelf when they hear a noise coming from the backdoor. In a single second, they both drop everything they’re carrying to the floor and run for the door; they have their guns with them, but bullets nowadays are rare, and Tony would rather run to the car and just get the hell out of that city with no food or water, than waste away the few remaining weapons they still have.

Even before they reach the store’s door, they can see zombies by their car, and Tony’s heart rate is shooting up dangerously now. They hadn’t seen zombies in a good few of days now, and he knew there were still many out there, but somehow just being with Steve had made him forget that everyday could be their last day - and there is nowhere to run, no matter where you go, there’s nowhere to run.

“TONY!” Steve shouts from his left as he grabs Tony violently by the arm and drags him away from the store. They’re running into the city now, probably searching for another car, another something, so they can escape. Zombies start to appear from everywhere they look; beside them, behind them, in front of them.

Tony doesn’t know where he’s running to anymore as he blindly follows Steve, who enters dark alleyway after dark alleyway in the search for an escape route. The zombies are loud just like they always are, but all Tony can hear is his blood pulsing violently behind his ears, and it’s too hard to think about anything now. In the past, running away from the enemy would’ve been something exciting for Tony - he’d probably be scared, yeah, but he’d have his suit, and as he would run he would also think of plans to get himself out of whatever crazy situation he was trapped in.

But now, there’s no Iron Man suit because Tony couldn’t maintain it anymore, and his body, his _ mind  _ were really not the same as they used to be. And Tony was tired; he was so tired, because unlike the zombies he needed to rest, and he hadn’t been able to get a proper night’s sleep in months. His body ached from the lack of, well, everything, and it made Tony feel like he was a thousand years old. The worst part of it all is that when Tony looked at Steve, he saw the same pain, the same ache, and it made his heart sink because they didn’t deserve this, they really didn’t.

Tony was so busy trying to keep breathing, to keep moving forward, he didn’t even notice the small trashcan lying ahead of him until it was too late. Everything seemed to slow down; time stopped rushing by him, and Tony felt his body convulse against what was happening, because he knew as soon as he hit the floor he was done for. He was practically pummeling through the air, and Tony was sure that a fall like this would most likely break his leg, and he couldn’t fix his leg with zombies trying to catch him and Steve. Hell, he couldn’t even fix his leg if there were no zombies chasing them, he didn’t have the tools or the time. Not anymore.

Steve yelled out his name and tried to catch Tony, but it was too late. His head hit the ground and his leg twisted in an agonizing way. Everything hurt; but then again, everything always hurt in Tony’s body.

“Can you walk?” Steve asked Tony hurriedly. He was on the ground beside him trying to pull Tony upright, and Tony let him do it; a part of him knew what was going to happen, and another part of him had no idea whatsoever.

“I can’t, Steve –“

“I’ll carry you.” Steve said it with as much conviction as he could muster, but he knew as well as Tony did that he couldn’t carry Tony to safety.

“They’ll catch us.”

“I’m not going to leave you.”

“I know.” Steve tried his best to smile at him, an almost sad kind of smile, and Tony couldn’t help but smile back because he knew that if Steve was the one with the injury, Tony wouldn’t leave him either.

This was finally it, this was their end. It was almost a bit ironic, how they made it through so many months of fighting, killing, slashing and ripping, and for what? In the end they were going to die, just like everybody else had; the only difference was that they had a couple more bruises. But at least Tony got to be with Steve, for the short little while they were together. In any other time or place, this would not be nearly enough to compensate the death of humanity, but right now it was.

The zombies must have gotten lost during Steve’s entrance to the labyrinth of dark alleyways, but as slow as they were, it wouldn’t take much longer for them to scavenge the whole place and find Tony and Steve lying on the ground behind a dumpster, looking as if hell had ran by them, with stained clothes, greasy hair, and broken smiles on their faces.

“You sure about this?” Tony asks because he wants to; although he understands that Steve wants to stay because there is nothing else waiting for him in the future. He suspects the only reason Steve had continued marching forward through all this was the same reason why he did it. Because they had to fight for one another.

But Tony couldn’t fight anymore, and a small part of him didn’t want to. He was just so tired; all he wanted was for Steve to give him a goodnight kiss, and then to fall asleep quietly in Steve’s strong arms, and dream of days that never happened with his friends and family by his side; a happy past that Tony never had the chance to have. He wanted to dream and never wake up again.

“Yes. Are you?” 

Tony quietly nodded; his eyes were blurry, and it took him a second to  realise that he was actually crying. He probably looked a bit pathetic, laughing and crying at the same time, like an absolute mess. He pulled his gun out, pointed it to his head, and saw Steve do the same. He wanted to say let’s do this together, but he really didn’t need to.

Their foreheads bumped and Steve kissed him one  last time as Tony whispered:

“ _It’s not dying, not really, it’s just falling asleep.”_


End file.
